Learning to Love Yourself: A Deep Reflection on Self-Care

Why Loving Yourself Matters

For many of us, especially caregivers, learning to love ourselves can feel foreign. We pour our energy into everyone else, leaving little for our own needs. We give others the love we wish we had, yet we struggle to focus that same attention inward.

This pattern of neglect leads to exhaustion, poor health, and drained emotionally. It’s time to break that cycle and make self-care a priority. Your well-being is just as important as everyone else’s.

What Have You Given Up?

Think back to a time when your heart felt full, you had a smile on your face, and you felt great. The last time you were actually excited to do something YOU enjoy to your soul. Something that just puts this biggest smile on your face and left you feeling completely full of joy?  What or who made you feel this way?

Now, I want you to think back to which one of those memories have you forfeited because there was not enough time, energy, or bandwidth in your brain.   What was one of the most heartfelt things in your life that you have given up while taking care of everyone else?  THIS is what I want you to resurrect as you are looking for oxytocin and dopamine response in food.

Instead of turning to food, I want you to turn to one of the memories you have given up.

• A best friend you lost touch with?
• A hobby you once loved but can no longer find time for?
• How long has it been since you read a book you truly enjoyed?
• When was the last time you had lunch with your favorite aunt?
• Did you stop attending your favorite Bible study group?
• When was the last time you turned on your favorite music and danced around your house?

These things brought you joy at one time, but they were likely replaced by endless responsibilities, to-do lists, and priorities for everyone else. We convince ourselves that we don’t have time, that it’s selfish, or that we’ll get back to it someday. But someday never comes unless we make it happen.

Stop Waiting for SOMEDAY

Stop waiting for “someday”.  Someday is today, right now!  Take it from someone that has knocked on deaths door way too many times.  Don’t keep putting YOU off.  Don’t keep making everyone a priority, BUT YOU!  Don’t wait till it is too late to rebuild your health. It is much easier to prevent disease and ailments than to recover from them. Take care while you still have the option.

Share in the comments, what you have given up that brought you joy.  What is something that genuinely made you smile and fed your spirit?  Tell me what you plan to do to change this and give yourself some self love?  I’d love to hear about your journey.

The Dopamine/Oxytocin Shift: How We Fill the Void

When we stop nurturing our own joy, our brains seek out other sources of oxytocin and dopamine—the chemicals that gives us the feeling of love, pleasure and motivation. Many of us have unknowingly replaced meaningful, fulfilling experiences with food. We eat for comfort, relief, or a quick escape from stress.  Food has become our best friends, our main coping skill, our social life, our stuff down the pain, and our “life is easier buried in a bowl of ice-cream”.  Food has become everything it shouldn’t be.  Food should be nutrition first and foremost.

That dopamine hit that once came from connecting with a dear friend, creating art, or dancing to your favorite song, is now coming from a sugary snack, a bag of chips, or mindless late-night eating. But food is only a temporary fix—it never truly fills the deeper void.  Let’s work on filling that void with healthy meaningful experiences and put food back where it belongs. Spend the time with loved ones. Hug those babies, big and small, go on the date with your spouse. Light the candles and take in the moments that fill your soul.  Food can never compare to real life moments.

Reintroducing Healthy Dopamine Responses

Loving yourself means reclaiming the activities and connections that bring real joy. Replace unhealthy dopamine triggers with experiences that nourish your soul:

• Reconnect with an old friend – Send a text, make a call, set up a coffee date.
• Show up for Church and Worship – Feed your spirit, like only worship can do.
• Reignite a lost hobby – Paint, knit, garden, or write. Take just 10 minutes to start again.
• Read a book for pleasure – Just because you are interested.
• Get outside and move – Take a walk, go for a hike, feel the sun on your skin.
• Join a Bible study or prayer group – Rediscover the power of spiritual connection.
• Create something with your hands – Cook a nourishing meal, do a puzzle, build something.
• Listen to music that moves you – Dance in your kitchen, sing in your car, feel the rhythm.
• Plan the date night in or out – Love your life and those you share it with.

Planning for Self-Care

For me, loving myself means scheduling my health action steps. If it’s not in my planner, it probably won’t happen. By intentionally carving out time for self-care—whether it’s a workout, hot tub, sauna, or a night on the couch snuggled in with Lance just watching a movie, —I ensure that I prioritize my well-being.

You might not be a planner like me, and that’s okay. The important part is finding what works for you and committing to it. Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. Make it happen.

You Are Not Alone: Join Our Tribe

If you don’t have support at home, you have it here with us. Our group coaching program is filled with like-minded individuals learning to prioritize self-care and love themselves again. Love and support is what we do.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who encourage you, lift you up, and remind you that your health matters. You don’t have to do this alone. Our private support group is free.  You can join it here.  👉🏻 👉🏻 Healthy Families Begin at Home. 

A Heartfelt Reminder

Loving yourself isn’t about indulgence or extravagance; it’s about recognizing your worth and showing up for yourself every day.

You are worth the time. You are worth the effort. You are worth the love. Rebuilding your health—physically, mentally, and spiritually—starts with making YOU a priority.

Take Action Today

This is just one of the lessons we help teach you through our coaching program.  Learning to navigate these emotional connections with your health journey will build a lasting lifestyle of generational health.  Lead by example.

• Put your name on your to-do list.
• Schedule a moment for YOU in your day.
• Check in with like minded people in our free “Healthy Families Begin at Home” Facebook group.
• Join our group coaching program for even more support.

Love yourself enough to show up for YOU.

❤️ Coach Tammie